me

that's all I am, is me
anyway just kinda happy, kinda sad, this week- happy cuz I jogged-ran non-stop 2.01 miles- without dying or grasping badly and still able to breath. Happy cuz everyone in my immediate circle woke up and is doing better than most, we could all be griping about our jobs etc. but for the most part things are strolling along. Today I farted around the house got a few things done, had to do some stuff for kids- took a shower and I get like 5 calls on my cell in 2 minutes. I love my kids don't get me wrong but I am not super human anymore. The only way I can do any amount of good is to take really goo care of myself first then everyone else gets leftovers. Usually including my husband- he's funny cuz he knows I like my quiet time in the morning and I just thought we had different sleeping patterns? We work so well together like this, I'm the early riser and he is like the night shift around here. Ying and yang we are. I did a big kid thing today and actually planned a long weekend for me and my hubby, was supposed to do a week but 4 days isn't all that bad, I should be able to not have too bad anxiety about that. Today in making my protein shake with 1-1/2 scoops protein, 4 strawberries, 3 piece pineapple chunks, plain yogurt, 1/2 cup organic milk 2%, 1 banana, 4 ice cubes and one f---'n spoon left in the blender! So the blender lid shoots off the top and I figure it's just not on tight and so I put the lid back on and hold down the lid not checking inside the blender or realizing the spoon's still in there until I think it's done. What an idiot. So then I go and clean up my mess and have 3 weeks worth of dad's med's that are in daily/week containers so I don't have to do them weekly and they have crap/shake all on the top- me thinks they are water proof and run water on top of containers- guess what, not waterproof. So here's to a good rest of the day with that one, had to call Walgreen's and have'em get me rescript on almost everything.
I cried the other night cuz my dad has had a few "duh" days where he's just not all there, he knows who I am but I guess I should be happy about that. I don't know we have been doing this for 4 years now and I am trying to not burn out for every one's sake, but I swear some times I need my kids to be adult and take care of themselves. I love my family more than anything, but I am getting tired. So now we need to come up with a different plan for me cuz this ain't working!