Friday, May 29, 2009

a random reflection


Well ok, it's funny when you have a blog or whatever it's called you take a minute to look back and see what's happened the last year and you go. "wow was I depressed or what?" So today I sit here and realize how important it is I really do take care of me. Facts
I pulled out most of my hair before February or it fell out- (now it's coming back yey)
I gained weight (come on people do you really expect me to tell you how much?)
Loss of sleep I have come to terms with is extremely important to my health
When I am stressed it starts to take it's toll way before I realize it and usually by then I am in big trouble

that was the ugly the good is I know I'm not superhuman and I'm setting some limits with myself- yeah maybe in the illusion sense of the word- ha whatever I am really sick of this ok so now since we took a breather over the weekend we had a great time eating shopping repeat etc.............my head is a little clearer and I find that I need breaks like that every couple 3 months or so just to look at myself and be a little me. I realize I am a caregiver all the time, I live breathe and eat it every day. You don't just go to your job and switch it off or on like that I am on all the time, there is not a second of the day that I am not aware of my responsabilities.

But it's really ok and I'm ok with it even though I don't get to do anything or much of what is important to me and the focus is always elsewhere I am happy I am given this chance. It is a struggle but I have been given a gift to see my entire family grow because of it- we share we laugh we fight but we love most of all and we love together.

Ubuntu-you are therefore I am

We are all the same we may not be on the outside but we are.

2 comments:

Carol D. O'Dell said...

Your life reads like mine. I was a sand-gener--I gained weight, I felt torn in a million directions--and like you, I wanted to help others feel less alone, less scared.
Every story, every insight helps us all. I enjoyed reading your blog and your pictures (your kitty is cute--have one myself).

~Carol O'Dell
Author, Mothering Mother
www.mothering-mother.com

The Human Sandwich Generation said...

Thanks, it's funny how we think we are the only ones going through these things and that's selfish to me= but I would just love to see more people be able to do this and realize they can and that all they need to do is make some changes. I can't imagine doing anything else, where else can you be selfish and selfless at the same time?
Take care and God Bless, Cara