ha ha, I kid you have no choice in the matter. You are suddenly relieved of your duties of caregiving your father whom you loved dearly and now you are released and set free. Set free from this every day fight and struggle and pain and sadness and miracle and suffering. Released and relieved. Just done, over finished , all over. The pain is gone. The pain is gone for my father and began with me in April when he passed, I love to take care of give support and do things I hope are right and fight for those who are wronged. I love that, I love putting my soul into something making people feel they matter and help them be strong. I dislike not having routine, I've found out. I get antsy when theres no plan. Ronnies been helping me and discusses the days before, "So whats next weeks plans?" He always tries to help, he's made me a better human being. To think of all the guilt I'd have if I didn't spend all my last 10 years taking care of my dad. I am blessed, I am happy but I am out of routine and I guess thats what I need to work on a little. Today Tiffany our stepdaughter turns 19, she lost her mom almost a year ago. Happy Birthday Tiffany!
Ok so you're grieving or not and plug along at your life and start noticing a few changes. Some mornings I'm more depressed or less motivated than others~ seeing my kids all of them grand daughter too, all make me happy. I am recognizing my triggers hopefully.
