Words

Words: are sounds put together in a language that have a meaning to that group of people that use that language. Well that's my definition, ask an english teacher and it may not be correct. Mom turned 82 on Monday, September 15th, 2008 this is a big milestone for some who actually make it to that age. My grand daughter, Angelina almost four has started to come up with some great word usage these days and going out to lunch with the family to celebrate this milestone was no exception. I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, she answered, "Nana, I'm gonna be four and be a big girl!" Josh is having a great time teasing this poor child every chance he get's, telling her she has something on her nose and it's not there. Too funny. The day out was fun my daughter Amber had a blast in watching Angelina (her daughter) get all the attention. Dad said the "F" word when he got mad at me 3 x's about a food related issue and mind you it's always said with emphasis. Mom dropped the "F" bomb too shortly after when she was supposedly correcting my dad, all said quite loudly ofcourse. Last but not least, Angelina calls me the other night to tell me where babies come from, "where", I ask, "From the baby shop!" she tells me.

Looking back on the other day, thinking about how Angelina was twirling in the restuarant telling Ron, "wait, don't take my picture yet!" Being that age she is blessed to not have a recall of hurtful or shaping of what people say, unless most likely her mom. Our minds are not as advanced as we think, we get mad or happy and say things that we think should be either emphasized or lightly said. This doesn't matter at all or shouldn't they are just words, sounds put together. Myself, I prefer the twirling and the carefree look of a childs face that doesn't care just is showing her happiness from the inside out.

Before I forget (pic of Angelina too!)

Backing it up a few weeks, July 21st to be exact. Mom has a melanoma the size of a quarter which is around a centimeter, the plastic surgeon has to make sure he get's all of it by taking 3 centimeter's the size of a small orange cut in half. We get through surgery, Dad doesn't know because I want him to be ok and let mom sleep and he get some too. Bring mom home she's in a wheelchair, remember dad is in a wheelchair/walker a good percentage each. I had our caretaker Mary still come by on this Monday to help with dad, so that I can take care of mom. Thank God for my husband Ron he reminds me to be patient all the while in the next coming weeks, he helps more than he ever knows. Later that evening Dad comes in for dinner and says, "Hi Mama" and doesn't mention Mom in a wheel chair the entire evening even though they are sitting less than 3 feet away. Dad goes to bed his usual time 8pm says good night to mom and off he goes. Remember my dad has dementia/Alzheimer's. My son just happened to move out approx 1 week before mom's diagnosis, Ron, Josh and I clean out his room and get it ready for Mom. We order a hospital bed, wheel chair and get a new tv and the basics lamp, etc to make her comfortable. So mom is now situated for the night with pain killer, anti nausea and antibiotics it's 11:30 I'm sleepy so off to bed I go. Ron and I are in cuddle mode discussing the day, when the motion sensor goes off in dad's hallway. I go down the stairs and dad has a confused look on his face, so I ask him if he's ok? "Why is Mama in a wheel chair?" , he asks. I tell him about the surgery and why and so he starts to turn around, he walks a few feet towards his room and then turns around again and asks me with sad eyes and tears streaming down his face, "I was no good to her, it's my fault, I was no good to her". So I tell him let's go and see Mom and go and sit with her, he doesn't want to but I make him. So in her room he goes with a t shirt and depends and socks on into Moms temp/room and they watch Sex in the City and Reno 911 till 1 am. Dad cries when he see's her but she's all doped up but she consoles him anyway and tells him she is ok and asks dad, "Do you want me to kick the doctor in the balls?" The end of August, Mom get's released from the plastic surgeon and back (for the most part) she is back to her old wanna go everywhere self again. And each day I thank God that she is exactly that way.

The game of Life

Have you ever wondered what would life be if we knew then what we know now? Would we go to the beach, get in our cars, eat sushi, didn't sit and waste time playing a stupid game? Life is full of consiquences, sometimes you know, sometimes not. Mom get's to retire with dad in Florida, helps him get better goes to the beach, gets skin cancer? But what if she knew what would or could happen? Who knows? I think she loved the beach as much as I do now maybe more? She got to go through the Panama Canal and see that magnificient creation even though you could fry an egg on the deck of the ship and dad slept right through it. What if I had moved a long time ago and never been here to see my mom through this? My husband asks, what if they were still living alone?

My mom came through this with high flying colors, even though she a month after her removal of her melanoma had to have something taking off her face also.

What gives some people that strength to go on to make it while some others wait to give up or worse don't appreciate what they have.