I've been thinking and meditating alot lately about the past and future. I know we really don't have much control over either but our attitudes and the way we really handle both. First off, took my dad to Dustins bbq yesterday after he got his shot of go juice (procrit) and he for the 1st time in years dipped a fry in ketsup and offered it to me. Now this may sound funny, but it brought back lots of memories of being a child. I remembered the 1st time he took me to McD's a walk up windo one near a beach we used to go to and how weird that was. Taking time to remember certain events is really cool because you can say goodbye to a time in your life and can also connect or reconnect you to the person your remembering. I was sad because when I was that age through my teens I did not appreciate those moments as I should but you don't know cause your a kid. It's like you want to hold on to that memory cause it's gone and doesn't exist only in your mind. That's why when you go to a funeral they call it a memorial service because you are bringing up either great things that, that person did whether it funny, sad or whatever and you take that time to cherish that period in your life. Sometimes I try to prepare myself for what's to come and it makes me want to cherish time that I have with everyone I know.
Things I don't want to forget-
My dad dancing with my friends acting silly and taking them bowling or to the mall or McD's-
Teaching me how to drive a car and a school bus (in my 30's) when I failed my test the 1st time my dad went and yelled at the test lady and said "you need to take my license because I taught her!" the part I failed was not correctly stopping at a stop sign or rolling stop-he also taught me how to rid a motorcycle (although I couldn't stop it- We went to the mall and got our motorcycle licenses together-he taught me how to ride a bike and a skateboard-Mow a lawn and all the rest-
He also taught me to forgive on a daily basis, this was through his actions, he taught me how to give to anyone who needed it, people deserve 2nd chances, he also never forgot-like the time I shot him in the butt with a bb gun at his twin sisters farm when I was 12 or 13-His twin sister Marion was the coolest aunt she always sang to me "close to you" by the Carpenters, she took me to a flea market and bought me a bugs bunny radio-
My dad knew I was dating a 19 yr old (I was 15 or 16) and this guy would only call me on Wednesdays to take me out Friday or Saturday and that consisted of taking me to his place where he kept a picture of his girlfriend on his night stand and one day this guy show up (I swear I heard his motorcycle) and my dad waits for him outside and takes a gun out of his jacket and tells him never to call or come back-something to the affect you upset my daughter you upset me and I never knew this happened till about 10 years later.
The future is the pain really of the unknown and how we are going to react to it. To be continued........................
