ok so we don't know at this point if his collar bone is broken, if it is again then the er will only send him home with a sling and or pain meds with a follow up with a orthopedic surgeon. It is killing me inside each blow of this disease. worse, worse, till peace. If he breaks something every other time he falls, then what? That I don't know if I can take. I can't be up all night, how do I do this? Do I hire someone to come by every night? What about my time with family? The only time I spend time with them is either when he's home or not and he's not a burden at all it's just tough. It's just tough. Last night getting him up from the wheelchair was tough, he walks ok. I feel like a failure sometimes, especially here. Ron hugged him last night and wanted to get cussed at by him like he used to. I wispered in dad's ear, "call him a mother fucker" and he did. It made my husband cry. I was shredding paper, when I cam across a card from mom, it read "Dear Ron, thank you for picking us up when we fall~remember what goes around comes around, love Charlotte" ~ this made us cry too. This disease FUCKING SUCKS ROYALLY!
So the cure for soul crushing you ask? A grand daughter or stepson or anything younger than your parent or loved one. Instant feel betters, I promise. I have the tendency to over react and take my dad to the hospital for everything, I've even called hospice on a Sunday to look at my dads foot in fear it would turn gang green. Kids put you back in perspective of things even if your being silly, or cooking or whatever. Thank God for balance and family.
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