Its sunday and Im sitting outside on our dilapidated deck/porch on 5 buck plastic chairs made in china. The plastic towards my back bends because Im propping my feet on another chair. My head is tilted sideways as i think about my just sitting with myself at this second on Sunday and my breath is slow. my dad is up for his second time this morning not sure why, i guess he just wants to read the paper and sit with mom as she takes forever in the bathroom and eventually makes it to the kitchen. He just told me to shut up because he's frustrated and so am i. so i do the next best thing and i sit outside with myself and let my thoughts flutter away like little butterflies. some days or mornings like today you wake up and have a certain patience or awareness and realize all the little things that we flutter around about in our brains are really worthless and just as they are thoughts they are not true facts. it most likely sounds crazy, but if you look at some of your thoughts and give them too much credibility you can sure waste a lot of good energy. one of my favorite things is the feeling i get blogging about family and there is so much for me to learn in accepting the real for what it is. sitting out here in the shade just listening and looking around me and just being in this one place at this one time. very calming indeed my friends.
sorry about my punctuation but im really not in that mood today, im just appreciating all that i can right now.
i look at my toenails and think i should trim them-fact yes :0) very funny.
if you try for a minute or two when your not enjoying yourself to just tell "your-self" what your doing. It really works and it's very calming too. for example, we spend too much time just thinking about other things we need to do, don't want to do, hate to do, don't want to think about, really care about, really feel bad about, don't like, like, want, need, don't need, can't have and the list could go on forever. but if you think about it~ALL OF IT IS EITHER PAST-PRESENT-FUTURE and you can't do anything about any of them! i mean yes you can save your money, yes you can eat well & exercise, you can keep things simple BUT YOU CAN KEEP THINGS SIMPLE wow! what a statement, it's almost like multi tasking this multi thinking, don't you agree? I could think about any number of things while i type or fold clothes or wash dishes, right? but what does that do for me, really? does it make it easier to get done or to the next thing i'm doing? no, NOT ONCE HAVE I BEEN DOING ONE THING AND BEEN THINKING ABOUT ANOTHER HAS IT MADE THE THING IM DOING PLEASURABLE OR FUN OR ANY EASIER OR ENJOYABLE. so why do it, the other thing will get done after you get the first thing done & IT FEELS LESS STRESSFUL! OMLord what a AH HA MOMENT, it is to be doing and thinking about this any one thing at a time. for the record i have wanted to write about things and gotten all excited about what it is i want to write and then once i start writing, i start thinking about the next thing im gonna-have to-want to do and suddenly my writing feels un easy, rushed , not fun and boring and lamo.
Lucky for those who have an under active brain, what beautiful awareness they possess.
Happy awareness to all of us.
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