It's never too late to say I'm sorry

Those are the most important words you will ever need to know. I don't say that you actively need to ever apologize because sometimes people will look at you and go "Heh?" I am talking about the day in your life when you realize it's not about you, it never was, or when you over react or think that people have "bad" or the "wrong" intentions or ones that you think you understand. Intentions-very complex meaning for that word, can be taken in-numerous ways. People often think when they aren't really thinking that so and so's intentions were this or that and often times we get mad and scurry our little ways and burrough ourselves in little holes that we call our lives. And then there is the ah, ha moments where we trust in something bigger than ourselves or "the self" or "the ego" and say ok I'm gonna give this a shot. So you open up and get real and say to the ego self, "just gonna wear my heart on the outside and see what happens". I'm not talking about being nice or stupid to everyone, doing it when and where it counts and trusting. See that's the biggest problem with the ego self, you don't trust, you keep hidden your not open. Your closed off to the world and in the end when all is said and done and your alone and you think to yourself, "I couldv'e, should've and didn't"-

We are human, humans are stupid, smart, intellectuals, snappy, moody, happy, sad, depressed, angry, a thousand different things or more. But once you realize you are no better, no less you are not closed off anymore and you have the ah, ha moment. You realize that below the stupid, smart, snappy, moody, happy, sad whatever- we all are the same, we all want love, we all have needs, we all care, we are better than we ever expected, everyone else is better than you expected and that is when things of the greatest beauty begin. Maybe it was there already and you just had your eyes closed. Maybe that's what happend to rip van winkle?

So today, something magical happend. My daughter came by for a stop over after taking care of a client and it just so happend dad was getting up (really I think he got up cause he heard her) and I saw a twinkle in his eye. Amber was being nice to him and he asked her if she was patronizing him (big word) and he got on the New York subject that he wants to leave, and Amber said he would go with him. After she left dad went back to lay down, because it wasn't time for him to sleep and when I came back from getting Subway he ate and was heading back to his room, he said, "Amber made we want to cry.", so I asked him why, he said " she said she'd go to New York with me!" People with dementia all need to feel they are not crazy. They sometimes see things that we don't see and sometimes they see something but draw to their own conclusions that it's something else. This is a scary thing for them, they know things aren't right, but they don't need to be treated like it isn't either.

I also learned through my "younger eyes" that we are always changing, we are always different from before, sometimes good and sometimes not. Sometimes it just takes longer to see it too and when you do it's like a little gift from God.