hey there! it's me sanity!

yeah I look over my shoulder and behind me trying to catch up is my sanity. Unfortunately I am running too fast and not paying attention. What me pay attention? It costs too much I say! On I go forward living day to day not looking back, I am a freight train with no destination just forward. There could be a warning sign in the road up ahead, but I won't have time to look because I'm moving way too fast to see it. My husband whom I could not do this without is grasping at the walls as we go by and trying to grab them to slow down and make sure we don't miss our turn and loose our way. I get mad and say I don't have time for this I have to keep going don't stop me or I might end up like Wilecoyote and fall off the cliff! But if I keep going full speed I have a chance to make it to the other side without falling between the two mountains!
I feel very sad today to have done this to my husband, while he pushed me into this thing I battled with thoughts of nursing homes and caretakers and he thought of us doing our part. We thought this would be short term, my dad would get better we could fix up their house and they could live there. Yeah right! My father had some kind of age related illness before he went to have his hip surgery. It was my fault this all happend. Need to slow down and take care of things. Sometimes when your husband says things out of pain (to him/her) it wakes you up to the fact of what you aren't doing. I know I do alot and he knows that, but it's funny what you don't notice happening around you right in front of your face. I am so blessed to have him as my husband, some things really matter more than others and it is our responsibility to make sure we see the signs and follow OUR directions not others. But at the same time if we are moving too fast we deserve that speeding ticket and should listen to some advice along the way. Atleast we should consider the advice and ponder it a while not just shut it down so quickly and see whats behind it. Thank God I have someone who helps me see behind the advice and lets me ask for directions even when I'm speeding.